The search for connection

For a very long time and without realizing it I have been unhappy. Little by little, without realizing it, I had lost connection with myself and my feeling. In order not to feel, I threw myself into work and fled often and in too much amusement. Anything not to feel that I was unhappy. I avoided myself.

Not only was I no longer there for myself, I was no longer there for my family. This resulted in a divorce. Despite all the sadness, this was also a wake-up call for me. I had to face myself, confront myself. I had to deal with myself.

Many life questions loomed up… “Who am I?” “What is actually going wrong?” “Why am I not happy?” And: “What am I doing here?” A question I have been asking myself all my life: what is my 'purpose in life?'

In that search for myself I opened up more and more, felt more and more and got answers to many of those questions. I'm still studying some of them… But perhaps I'm not supposed to get answers to everything, but it's about the way to there. By reconnecting with my soul and my feeling, I now also perceived the world around me, which has completely lost connection. I see a polarization that is getting completely out of hand, with all its consequences. Something that I find very scary, but that also makes me sad. Because apparently we still haven't learned anything from history. It is 'left or right', 'black or white' and if you say 'I think grey' you get both 'black' and 'white' thrown at you. We no longer see and listen to each other. People are excluded because they are or think differently. While that is often what makes them special.

I also wondered: what am I contributing to the polarization? Where is my responsibility? Because I too can have very strong opinions about all kinds of things. If we look at all perspectives, maybe we're all right. We have to come out somewhere in a middle where we can find each other, because that's where the connection is. If you look and listen and are observant, you will see that we have much more in common than we think and that we actually want a lot of things the same.

I have decided to use my expertise, craftsmanship and creativity to contribute to that connection. My artworks are about self-knowledge and development. My Night Watch project is about craftsmanship, creativity and connection, about connection with yourself and connection with each other. By reconnecting with myself I came to the Night Watch project. Without the help of others I could never have set this up and without others I cannot make the Night Watch in wood.

When I look at the Night's Watch. I see a very chaotic painting and at first it seems that everyone is disconnected from each other, because everyone is looking in a different direction. Yet there is a connection because a vigilante is depicted with all people from different backgrounds who have a common goal to protect the citizens and the city of Amsterdam.

What I really want to say is that despite our backgrounds and all our differences, we are somehow connected and we all have something to bring to this world. I hope we will see and hear each other again. That we will realize again that we all need each other and that when we work together, we are capable in great things.

All this will soon come together in this Night Watch, because many people and companies with different backgrounds with a small or large share have already connected to this Night Watch, have collaborated with each other and this beautiful work of art will eventually emerge from it.

I now also realize that the road to the final work of art, with everything that came with it, also required the personal struggles to get the answer why I had to make this Night Watch.